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Friday, January 23, 2009

Can YOU forgive yourself?.....

Bobby gave me permission to
share this short story with you.

He shared with me that his
biggest problem he had
in his life was forgiving
himself.

Ten years ago, Bobby found
himself in a marriage that
wasn't working and was
down right verbally abusive.
He felt no love, no affection
and no care from his wife.

Bobby also had two teenage
children, ages 14 and 16 at
the time of the divorce.

Bobby repeated what several
have done in his unpleasant
marital situation. He started
having an affair and left
his family. He said that he
felt justified in leaving the
marriage, but now, couldn't
forgive himself for abandoning
his children.

He said, "At first, it wasn't all
that hard. I blamed 'her' for
not loving me and caring for
me like I wanted her to. I also
wanted to give her the same
care and affection. She wouldn't
budge. My biggest regret wasn't
that I got a divorce. That was
inevitable. The thing that I
can't forgive myself for is that
I didn't see my children for
nearly ten years after. Even
though she was horrible
when I tried and even though
I paid every penny of child
support in full and on time,
she gave me hell. So, I gave
up."

There are many things that
you may not have forgiven
yourself for. Your inner voices
always condemning you and
judging you.

My dad was bi-polar. He was
never physically abusive of
us kids. However, he was
certainly mentally abusive.
He was a young father,
only 24 years old with 3
kids.

I will never attempt to justify
mental, psychological, physical
or religious abuse of any kind.
However, I have to some how
deal with the way I was raised
and bring some kind of closure
to it. You will have to do the
same if you are going to live
with any peace in your life.

I've found that a lot of people
are hard on themselves because
a parent was abusive some way,
during their childhood.

My encouragement to you today
is, stop the abuse in your head.
Consciously choose that you are
going to forgive yourself for
whatever has happened in your
past.

The starting point, I've found, is
to say outloud, 'Michael, I forgive
you for all the mistakes you've
made in your life.' And then,
if there are some 'biggies',
name them and begin the
process of forgiving yourself.

You DO deserve to feel loved
and be a peace in your own
heart and mind. You have
to be the one to start the
process. I'm here to
encourage you to get
started.

Remember, forgiveness is
for-giving love to yourself
and others.

Sending you great love today,

Michael

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