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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Showing kindness in love......

There are many ways to express love
to others. As I've shared with you
before, it doesn't matter if the love
you express is to a friend, someone
you haven't met yet or to your
significant other in your life.

One of the most amazing expressions
of love is simply showing kindness and
grace to others.

A lady wrote me recently and told me
that her fiance was constantly trying
to put her down. He would tell her
what he perceived to be 'wrong'
with her physically.

When she confronted him about
this kind of treatment, he said,
"I'm just trying to make you
better." However, his 'put downs'
made her feel worse about herself
and did nothing put further alienate
her in the relationship. Sometimes
she felt that he was downright
brutal when he did this.

I shared with her that the
underlying problem with someone
who behaves like this is, they
aren't happy with themselves.
The worst of it is, these people
are oblivious to what's going
inside of THEM.

Showing kindness and being kind
is something that makes me
every bit as happy myself, as it
does to the person I'm being
kind to.

I'm sharing this for two reasons.

One, if you are someone who
is trying to 'fix' someone else,
stop and take a look at
your situation and yourself.
The only way you'll ever influence
change in someone and it
truly be successful is through
positive, heartfelt kindness
and love. Never through
'put downs'.

Plus, you must be willing to
accept them and love them
'as they are'. It must be genuine
and honest. It must be more
than words.

Two, if you're in a relationship
where this is happening to
you, wake up. I can confidently
say, 'you' aren't the problem.
Love isn't true if it is conditional.

Take a close look at your
relationship and what its
doing to YOU. Most people
who treat others in this
way, find it very difficult
to change their behavior.

You need to decide whether
you're going to stay in this
kind of relationship. I know
that its hard but it might
be time to get yourself
out of it. This note might
be exactly the encouragement
you need right now.

Much love from my heart,


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