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Saturday, September 8, 2007

Overcoming Shyness

A report came out this morning from Live Science that stated that shyness is not something that is hardwired into our brains. It is a condition of the mind that is developed as an adolescent.

What in fact it is, is an underdeveloped since of possessing a healthy self image and self concept.

Bernardo Carducci, an expert in the study of shyness says that a person who suffers from the social anxiety of shyness, can do certain things to strengthen a healthy image of self.

If you are one who suffers or who knows someone who suffers from this condition, you should take heed to what Carducci says that you can do about this condition.

The first thing that he talked about was, volunteering. If a person was is shy volunteers for a charity, a local church or for organizations like the Red Cross, Boys Club, Girls Club, any type of youth oriented organization, you are not being judged on your talents or skills. You are simply there to give of your time. In fact, Carducci goes on to say that you might discover skills, talents or aptitudes that you didn't know you possessed.

The second thing that one can do to overcome shyness is through changing their self talk. When you choose positive self talk, you raise your level of confidence and belief in yourself. Beliefs are established by the repetition of thought. Self talk makes you 'think out loud'. This is one of the amazing transformations that I've seen with people who use affirmations. They force you to change your self talk.

Sandra Ray, an advocate and expert in the use of affirms for 30 over years, recommended that you can add 'rocket fuel' to your affirmations by doing them in a 'certain way'. She suggests that the affirmation be written and repeated in the first, second and third person voice. When you do this, you should add your name in the second and third person voice. In the second person, you might want to add your first name to affirmation.

Example: Michael, you possess amazing power now.

Then, in the third person voice, you might say,

Michael Murphy possesses amazing power now.

When you say your affirmation in all three voices, you comprehensively saturate each possible perspective of your self concept or self image.

A second aspect of using affirmations to overcome shyness, (which may include call reluctance for sales/marketing people, fear of the opposite sex, fear of asking for a raise, promotion or a job, fear of speaking up in a situation that you might desire to), is to make the affirmation completely positive all of the time. You should state the affirmation in a complete 'affirmative' and avoid using words like 'never', 'not', 'don't', 'quit', etc.

The mind creates and sees internal pictures fast and vividly. However, it is very slow in processing a negative. Thus, the 'don't see the pink elephant' phenomena. You actually have 'see' the pink elephant in order to 'not' see the pink elephant. In fact, don't get a picture of Donald Trumps' famous hairdo in your mind right now. You didn't see 'The Donald Swoop', did you? Don't do it! Don't get a picture of the Empire State Building in your mind's eye right. Well, I think you 'see' the point.

Make your affirmations positive. Go to the opposite end of the spectrum of whatever it is you don't want. Choose to say, 'I am living in abundance' rather than saying, 'I'm not poor'. You have to 'see' yourself poor in order to 'not see yourself poor'.

These are two very powerful components in eliminating shyness.

Work on building your confidence with powerful affirmations. Strengthen your self image through positive self talk. It will transform your life.

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